


fell in love but we weren't so sure

by sicklikewinter



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, M/M, Mentions of self-harm, angsty schmoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-26
Updated: 2012-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-22 12:45:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/609943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sicklikewinter/pseuds/sicklikewinter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>you like to think youre in love with him</p>
            </blockquote>





	fell in love but we weren't so sure

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this at 5 am and i'm pretty sure it doesn't make sense  
> oops my bad

There’s a weight in your chest that seems heavier when you look at him. It isn’t guilt, it doesn’t eat at your stomach and make bile rise in your throat, it’s just  _there_. You watch him move while he sits at the piano bench. His fingers are arched delicately over the keys, and you know he’s going to play something that will make the ache in your heart worse. 

Curled up in the blankets, you watch John as he turns around and smiles brightly at you. You can feel the happiness radiating from him, and it kind of makes you nauseous and you’re positive there’s change on the wind. There’s something changing inside you, or him!, and it makes you nervous.

(it reminds you of a time where things werent so stable and things were rough and terrifying and you almost lost yourself then but john oh god john found and he he _saved_  you)

“You okay Dave?” his voice breaks the sudden silence, the static that fuzzed over in your mind suddenly dissipates and you snap your attention to the shirtless blue eyed boy. You shrug, the motion serving to only make you more nauseous, and lick your lips. 

You can feel his eyes on your lips, but he snaps his attention back to your shades pushed high up on your forehead, and it makes your heart feel heavier. He stands up and flings himself at you, not literally but it feels like one of Bro’s punches when you and he strife and the swords break.

(its sudden and suffocating all at once and it leaves you breathless)

He buries his nose in the crook of your neck while his arms tighten around you, and it makes you feel loved and suffocated all at once. He mumbles things, sweet things dumb things silly things, into your skin; and all you can think is that it tickles. 

Your hands tangle in his hair, silk smooth and just a bit tangly, and it makes him sigh and curl closer to you. He’s sitting in your lap, awkwardly bunching the blankets all over, and one side of your thigh aches from yesterday—the bloodied washcloth you used to clean up is sitting in the bottom of the bathroom garbage can, where John never would think to look and you wonder if there’s a reason he treads carefully when chopping ingredients for dinner or using sharp objects—and all you want to do is  _sleep_.

“I’m fine.” 

(your thigh aches and you need to get rid of this fuzz inside of your head youre going to do something so fucking stupid later you want to get rid of this fuzz)

“You don’t sound like it.” 

You switch from gripping his hair to gripping his hips. He frowns, you feel it on your skin, and he pulls away and looks at you— _really looks_. You don’t want him to look at you, you’re disgusting and there’s fuzz all over inside your mind and you’re pretty sure it’s spilling from your ears and your eyes and you’re practically  _exhaling_  that vile shit, and you want to sleep.

“It’s fine dude, I’m just tired or something.” your voice is heavy, and the weight in your chest seems to get heavier. More fuzz accumulates inside your head. He looks at you skeptically, and pouts. The corner of your mouth quirks upward hesitantly, and he lights up. It lessens the ache in your heart. 

He kisses you, deep and adoring and it sweeps you off your feet all over again; the aching in your chest subsides and your arms  _cling_  desperately to him. The force of the kiss knocks the two of you backwards, and the ‘pompf!’ of the pillows your head lands on shakes you back to reality. You cling and drown yourself in John John John  _John_.

(you like to think youre in love with him)


End file.
